He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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