I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
