OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
