? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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