i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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