Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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