you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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