and she was petting her beer can
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Also, beer. Big fan.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
