I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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