There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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