This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I need water and some morals
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