I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
