how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
