I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
