guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
