New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
