smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
