I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
