I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
