I heard we made out
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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