So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
BRING THE BAGELS
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
