Cold hands, warm shart.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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