I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
