OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
