bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
