More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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