on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
