hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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