Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
only if we run a train.
done.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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