The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
