Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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