Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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