I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
