he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
