He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I will pee on everything he values.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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