Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
