Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
