i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
