WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
