i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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