so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize