just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
