i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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