I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
