white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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