I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so let's talk penis.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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