oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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