Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
