Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
