I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
