don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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