you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
