Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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