I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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