She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
