they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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