Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
