I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
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