Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
