yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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