dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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