I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
