Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
there is puke in my bra ... again
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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