u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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