Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
