You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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