oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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