Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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