Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
