he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
