she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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