dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
