so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
